The Golden Apple
by MidNightRock1
Summary: A little humorous short story of the gods and a particular little apple that began the Trojan War. How did the fight really go down? In the P.O.V of the ever conceded, Aphrodite. *Originally a school project so please don't bash it too much  P*


**The Golden Apple**

For centuries, people have blamed me, Aphrodite, for the fall of Troy. I was the one who promised Helen to Paris and all hell broke loose with the humans resulting in the city of Troy's demise. Although that part _is_ true, the real one to blame is that ugly wretch Eris and her stupid golden apple. If it weren't for Eris and her silly prank, the god's wouldn't have been forced to get involved with the humans.

It all started the day of King Peleus and Thetis's wedding. Olympus was buzzing with excitement in preparation for the ceremony and banquet. Of course with being the goddess of love and beauty, I was one of the first to know. The news of the banquet was sent out by Hermes and everyone, as well as those who weren't invited, heard about it. Obviously, when word got to Eris, goddess of discord, she was furious for not being invited. The evil wench then devised a plan that would ruin the banquet… and my hair!

After the wedding, the banqueting hall was filled with gods and magical beings of all kinds chatting and drinking happily. Then, out of nowhere, an apple made of gold came rolling its way down the aisle of the hall. Athena, who was sitting across from me, was the first to see it. She picked it up and studied it for a few seconds as if it were an artifact (brainiac).

"To the fairest," She read out loud.

She had caught my attention with that.

"…Hm? Did you call for me?" I looked at the golden apple in her hand and saw that it had _'To the fairest'_ written on it and thought it could only belong to me. "Is that mine?" I asked. Athena shot me a quick glare and stated in a matter-of-fact voice "Actually, It was rolled towards me and states to be _'to the fairest'_, so it must be a gift for me." If it weren't for my fresh manicure at the time, I would have slapped her. Who was Athena to say _she_ was the fairest? Not even in Morpheus's dreams!

Hera must have started to notice the tension between us because she came to where we were sitting with a confused look on her face. "Are you two at it again? What is it this time? If you disrupt th-… what do you have there?" She asked, indicating the apple in Athena's hand.

"A gift to the _fairest_," I stated shooting a glare that could kill towards Athena. "Athena here thinks she can keep it from me when _I_ obviously am the fairest." Athena had opened her mouth to snap at me when Hera took the apple from her hand.

"My dears, you must stop this feud before you disturb the banquet any further. Now obviously you have both mistaken this apple to belong you when there is now way it can because the fairest can only be the queen of gods," Hera stated smugly.

Oh, no she didn't.

I snapped right up from my seat and snatched the apple out of her boney hand. "Excuse me your _highness_, but the fairest does not mean the oldest and crabbiest. Men all around the world worship my beauty and everyone knows I am the fairest!" I must have said this quite loudly because all of a sudden everyone in the hall fell silent.

Out of nowhere, a very drunk Ares stood up on the table and shouted, "You tell her Aphrodite!" A big commotion started in the hall. There were gods and creatures taking sides and arguing. Athena, Hera, and I had gone into a sort of wrestling match for the apple with others shouting and cheering. Then Athena, very sneakily, took out a mirror and pushed it right in my face. I was so distracted by my own beauty staring back at me from the mirror that I dropped the apple and Athena snatched it up.

After a good 20 minutes of pure chaos, Zeus had _finally_ decided to step in and settle our dispute. He shot a bolt of lighting up to the ceiling, silencing everyone and already had the golden apple in his hand, away from us. "That's enough you three," He said in his loud echoing voice. "Now, if knowing who the fairest goddess is is so important to all of you, than we need a judge to decide who it is. Obviously, it must be a third party person who is not aware of this 'competition' and whose judgment won't be bias. Now I already have a person in mind that would be perfect for the judge; young Prince Paris of Troy."

There were gasps and whispers heard throughout the hall. Hera abruptly stood up, "Paris of Troy? We can't get a human involved in this. There will be consequences of-" Hera was interrupted by another loud sap of lightening to the ceiling.

"I have made my decision! Paris will decide who is the fairest and who receives the golden apple. After that, there will be no more argument of this, am I clear? Now, everyone back to the banquet!" Zeus said, sitting back down for another glass of wine.

Athena, Hera, and I were tense and upset the rest of the evening and none of us said a word to each other. Little did we know at the time, we all were devising our own plans to make sure we win the title of 'Fairest'. All I knew was that I would stop at nothing to win. It was about time I had paid this _Paris_ man a little visit.

Now, we all know what happens after that; Athena, Hera, and I all go to Paris in advanced, promising him something different. Of course, I promise him the best gift of all; the most beautiful woman in the world who, at the time, was Helen of Sparta. Why would anyone want wealth or knowledge or whatever the other two promised him when he could have beauty and love in his life? That's why he took my bribe and gave me what is rightfully mine, the title of Fairest.

That's how the story went! We all know what happens after that; Troy and Sparta go to war, people die, and Troy falls, so I don't need to talk about that. So, this goes to show that Eris is the one who is at fault for the fall of Troy, not me. If it weren't for her jealous nature, the Trojan War would have never occurred. Although she is evil and has flat hair, I still don't know what possessed her to choose a _golden_ apple. It tasted horrible.


End file.
